Ah, the moment we’ve all been working toward: toilet training. That big step toward independence!

For kids with ASD, ADHD, developmental delays, or other conditions, toilet training can sometimes look a little different — and that’s perfectly okay.
There’s no one-size-fits-all, and no rush to meet anyone else’s timeline.

But don’t worry, the journey doesn’t have to be scary if you know what not to do.

Here are some common toilet training mistakes to avoid:

Starting Too Early

You might be excited to move beyond incontinence pants or nappies, but one of the biggest hiccups is starting too soon. When a child isn't ready, toilet training can quickly become stressful, for both of you.

For kids who need extra support, readiness signs might look a little different and sometimes show up later than expected.

Signs that your child might be ready include staying dry for longer stretches, showing awareness when they’re wet, being able to follow simple instructions, or showing interest in what others are doing in the bathroom.

If you don’t see these signs yet, that’s absolutely okay. Waiting until your child is truly ready makes the whole process more relaxed and sets them up for better success. Starting later is always better than pushing too soon.

Pushing Your Child to Try More

We all want to see our kids succeed, but sometimes pushing them to “just try a bit more” can backfire.

Children with additional needs often have their own pace for learning new skills. Trying to rush things can cause frustration, resistance, or even anxiety around toileting.

Instead, make the experience about exploration and encouragement. If they sit on the toilet for a few seconds, that’s a win. If they manage to ask for the bathroom, even better. Small steps are still steps forward.

Try using rewards that feel exciting but not overwhelming, like earning stickers, adding to a reward chart, or picking a favourite bedtime story after a successful try.

Putting Them Down for Accidents

Accidents are part of learning.They don’t mean anyone is failing, they just mean your child is still figuring it all out.

Children who have sensory sensitivities, communication challenges, or developmental delays may take longer to notice when they need to go. It’s completely normal for there to be setbacks along the way.

When accidents happen, try to stay calm. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, celebrate what went right, “You told me you needed help! Great job!” or “You’re getting closer every day!” A positive, shame-free approach builds your child’s confidence and keeps the pressure off.

Skipping on Consistency

Consistency is the secret sauce for toilet training success, especially when your child thrives on routine.

If toilet times aren’t regular or the steps keep changing, it can create confusion or stress. Kids who need extra support often feel more confident when they know exactly what’s happening and when.

Create a simple, predictable toilet schedule, for example, after meals, before bed, first thing in the morning, or every couple of hours. Use gentle reminders and keep the routine as similar as possible day-to-day. Visual schedules, timers, or simple checklists can also help kids feel more in control and build their toilet training confidence!

Too Much Information at Once

It’s natural to want to explain everything, but giving too much information at once can be overwhelming for many kids, especially those who process things differently.

Stick to short, clear instructions like “Pull your pants down,” “Sit on the toilet,” or “Wipe with the paper.” Break down each step, one at a time.

Using tools like social stories, short videos, or picture books about toileting can help explain the process in a fun, digestible way. You can even make up your own simple story featuring your child as the hero learning a new skill. 

Forgetting Nighttime Routines

Mastering daytime toilet training doesn't automatically mean nighttime dryness will follow, and that's completely normal, especially for children with extra needs.

Nighttime dryness often depends more on physical development and deep sleep cycles, which can take time. It’s normal for some kids to stay in Nundies Youth Pants or use waterproof protectors for a while. Focus on creating a stress-free toilet routine at night. Limit fluids right before bed, encourage a bathroom trip before sleeping, and gently celebrate dry nights without pressure.


Dry nights will come in their own time, just like every other milestone your child has achieved.

Comparing Your Child to Others

One of the biggest traps is comparing your child's progress to another child's timeline.

Every child, especially kids with ASD, ADHD, or other support needs, will follow their own unique path. Some will master toilet training quickly, others will take more time. Focus on the individual wins your child is achieving.


Whether it’s sitting on the toilet without fear, asking for help, or going longer between accidents,  every step forward deserves a celebration.